Cash Cow

no my friends, that's not a manatee, it's a Yankee

Where to start....hmmm, it's one thing to outbid another team by 21 million dollars, but to outbid yourself by 21 million dollars, That just doesn't seem to make economic sense. This of course does not address that the Yankees already had the highest bid by 40 million. It's official, the new Steinbrenner is way crazier than the old one.

I know what you're thinking...why are you posting what all Yankee fans were already thinking. Well, mainly because of the great headline i came up with. In addition however, what's the deal with the extra one million. Was 160 million not enough? Were CC and his agent sitting in a room laughing with each other saying lets see if they'll cave for the extra million. "We agree you offer of 160 million is fair and far exceeds anything CC will see from someone else" says the agent, "but I've told you, either CC gets 161 million or we're signing with someone else." "Mr. Steinbrenner" says Cashman, "they wont take less than 161 million. " "Well then offer them 180 million, that should do. Oh, and throw in a year's worth of Godiva chocolates, that should keep him happy when he's not eating something else. "

Ahh, the New York Yankees...good luck on that AJ Burnett deal. Hopefully you can snag him off the market for only 20 million more than anyone else is willing to give the injury prone fireballer.

K-Rod: 36 Million

Putz: 5.5 Million in a trade

CC Sabathia: Priceless...oh wait, i mean 161 million.

Simply Amazing

I went to google images and simply typed in "greatest photograph ever". What an amazing product that google is.

However, and notwithstanding the infinite possibilities the above photograph provides, the reason for the search and the reason for a blog today is this...

jazzblahg is pleaded to direct you to the New York Times (make sure to check out the slide show)

Checkin In

Still Delicious

To those of you who have seen this before and were excited that I had a new post, I am sorry. I have decided to post on this blog anything that I think is clever and allows me to cut and paste. I hope to bring completely original content to this bog every once in a while...well, once in a while seems like an awful lot, let's just say I hope...

Good day folks. I know it's been a slow season for your commissioner. However, as you may have heard, I am blocked at work. As a consequence, I have not been around to say hello and install a general sense of community around the league. In my stead, our A++ treasurer has done solid and I thank him.

However, I know that nothing can replace that general sense of euphoria you feel when you realize i have decided to share my long winded and often mediocre thoughts with you. Smile my friends, today, is that day.

As you may have seen I have been active in trying to improve my team and this latest deal could prove to be the greatest trade since Houshyourfatmama joined the Cambells (I know, really not a very good nickname, look for a total name change shortly).

What else is going? Time to take a look and see...

Oh Pozo, here you go again. The only 3-0 team and number one in the power rankings. Is your team as good as it has looked in the first three weeks, I guess only time will tell if you are as forte as you have looked so far. (zing?)

Rory, following the draft we took the subway home together and I said to you, "I think you may have the best team." I was wrong. Your team is terrible. Good luck next year. (Hope Italia was incredible)

Meats, You guys have a good team...Will Mitchell draft his second championship team in 3 years? That's right folks, in case I haven't told you already, Mitch drafted Gellis' winner. Given Jelal's "honestly, I'm good my other league" rants for the past 3 years, having Mitch around is probably for the best.

Herstek, Fuck you, come back.

Heath, you're a great guy and I'm sorry we didn't get something done...that being said, you will lose this week. I can't tell you why because I don't want to affect league fairness, but here's a hint...James Brady.

Gellis, Matt Prader off waivers? Really? Still, you're 2-1 and very very hairy, so who am i to say otherwise?

Sticco, the other 0-3 team. Not sure why, you have a good team on paper. Perhaps it's because you've been so non-confrontational. I don't know, but i think i'm starting to miss it. Any mid-season rule changes you like? (no, were not changing any rules mid season).

Scott, good team, great treasurer...Steve Smith in round five and here i am trading my whole team away.

Evan, Houshyourfatmama now bitch? Just kidding. Obama Rules!

Ross, whoseyourmendenhall now bitch? Just kidding, that doesn't make any sense. What I meant to say was your team sucks, I mean Ike Hillard is like a million years old and Tony Gonzalez invented fire.

Finally, Spiewak. To be honest. I have nothing left. In fact, it was only after I double checked to make sure that everyone was mentioned that I realized i forgot to write about you. So, I will leave you with a little advice...don't move dirt bag!

Ahh, that felt good. time to go make dinner, i'm getting a headache from staring at the computer on an empty stomach.

Low Score, START WRITING RECAPS. It's a good rule and usually produces good results. This week Spiewak, I am looking at you.

Commish

Who Knew?

Really? I'm Still Alive?

After conducting a minute of research (I had trouble spelling his name) I have confirmed that Louie Anderson is still alive. Though judging by the photograph, just barely.

Man Alive!

My god, there are men alive in here!

Well Done

Well, I think it's fair to say that Lake Titicaca Week was a complete failure. Don't worry, we'll get 'em next time.

Will It Go 'Round in Circles

Pardon me, but have you checked carousel four?


I know, Lake Titicaca Week did not get off to a good start; let me just say that taking a week off from work makes for a hectic first day back. I look forward to sharing my insights with you the rest of this week.


Today's topic, baggage carousels: Perhaps not as sophomoric as you may have hoped, but what this blog lacks in childishness it makes up for in real insight.


It's really quite simple...Where do people go after they get off a flight so that their baggage goes around and around the baggage carousel. A trip to the bathroom, understandable; a stop at the souvenir shop, who wouldn't want to pay way too much money for crappy and cheesy items? Last off the plane, should have booked online. Don’t' want to stand around too long, you're so chill man...


However, none of these events take so much time that one cannot find his/her way to the baggage carousel in a reasonable amount of time. It's really quite frustrating to watch your stupid piece of luggage go around time and again while I am waiting there for mine.


That's it...not really all that funny, but conceptually, it's pretty good.

That's Hilarious

funnier than a fart?

I'll admit, there are times when good old fashioned sophmoric humor still appeals to me. Perhaps the best example of this is the fart, which is only made funnier when it smells. However, in thinking about nothing, I recently realized that something quite funny and quite sophmoric has gone insufficiently addressed for too many years now. You probably know it as being the highest commercially navigable lake in the world located on the border of Peru and Bolivia. I, my friends, know it as:

LAKE TITICACA

I just don't think that enough attention has been paid to this place. Think about it, if it was Lake Titi, that would be hilarious; if it was lake Caca, OMG! (Relax, I'm just kidding) But still Lake Caca is really funny. Together, the lake takes silliness to a whole new level.

However, it is my opinion that we have not exploited the hilariousness of this enough. As a kid, I simply do not remember laughing at Lake Titicaca. Maybe I wasn't hanging out with the right crowd, I don't know. It's not really important. What is important is that I have hours of laughing to catch up on.

Accordingly, I am announcing that the week of April 6 through April 12 will be Lake Titicaca week. (I will be away next week and do no want to miss the festivities) . Each weekday during Lake Titicaca week we here at jazzblahg (I have a rather large staff thank you very much) will address Lake Titicaca or otherwise discuss something that can only be classifiied as sophmoric. On Saturday we/I will be celebrating at a Peruvian Restaurant and drinking drinks native to Bolivia. If you would like to join, please leave a comment or contact me via email.

I look forward to seeing everyone (does anyone even read this stupid blog?)