Pardon My English

I have been receiving comments from some of you regarding my spelling and/or grammar. To those people I say, proof reading is like a lollipop, it's for suckers. I am of course a highly literate individual with an expansive vocabulary and I am (notice the parallel construction) looking to expanding it futher. I figure the easiest way to do this is to make up my own words. Therefore, i am proposing "Ellios" as a verb.

To Ellios = to burn the top of one's mouth

As long as we're within the pneumbra of English class, I am of the opinion that if one reads 400+ pages over a week and a half, the book should be over. If I read that many pages I want to have reached the climax and denouement, I do not want to have 300 more pages to go. In any event, the book is very good (Shantaram)

Also, I must make a confession reagarding Ms. San Diego. The truth is I made the whole thing up. I did not see her. I made up the t-shirt (though it is a good idea) and i am sorry for getting your hopes up.

Lastly, I would like to welcome those of you who have found my blog outside the network. We are reaching as far as colorado these days.

They call me Mr. Hot Pastrami.

The Man's Crazy

I can't believe it, but I found her. It's absolutely mind blowing, but the answer to one of life's great questions has been answered...Carmen San Diego is living in Staten Island. I saw her waiting for the bus. She's much less attractive than one would have thought. How do I know it was her?...she was wearing a T-shirt that read, I'm carmen san diego and I am living with Waldo. Whoda thought that carmen san diego and waldo were living in the same place? Pretty amazing and the kind of information you just can't get anywhere else.

You might ask what the above information has to do with the photo i have attached to today's posting. and to answer your question, it has nothing to do with anything. it's a funny picture and i thought you would enjoy it.

have a great day. next week is a treatment week so stay tuned for details.

A Ghetto Fab

They say everyone in this world has a look a like. back in the day i was compared to ross from friends, which (not sandwhich, just the regular which) always diassapointed me. not because he's a bad looking guy, rather, because he was a grade a loser. always moping around wondering if he was gonna get rachel. god, that show sucked. anyway, i return to my point, the body double. there is a doctor in my cardiologist's office who looks exactly like the philip seymour hoffman character from Boogie Nights. same belly, same hair, they even have the same walk. in fact, in thinking about it, i'm pretty sure it's the same guy.

speaking of gay, on my way home from the doc's office i saw something wierd. it was a gay hip hop couple being relatively affectionate with each other...and this wasn't a well dressed hip hop where maybe they live outside the community (making it less wierd...the hip/hop commuinity isn't all that open), more like welfare ghetto fabulous, such as "that enyce looks amazing on you" or "honey, as long as they say timberland on them, no one's going to question it." now, it is possible that one of the guys was a very, very unattractive girl dressed in men's clothes, but if that is the case, i'm pretty sure the other guy (the one we can be sure is a guy) is in to shit that's not even on the internet.

also, i will bet you never heard this before but... i am pretty sure kazam is the greatest movie ever made.

anyway, those are my observations today, i hope you enjoy them and i look forward to bringing them to you on a fairly regular basis.

Jabba the Goodman

I was watching TV last night when i saw a new commercial for a dunkin donut breakfast sandwhich that included a maple flavored sausage (more on this later). The commercial was of course voiced over by john goodman. now, john goodman is a fine man and solid SNL host. however, i cannot get over that he is the voice for DD. as i listen to him talk about the new cookies or white hot cocoa or breakfast sandwhich i am a little turned off. i have this image in my head of him sitting there like jabba the hut with the time to make the dounut guy chained to him as he, jabba goodman, engulfs the new breakfast sandwich and washes down same with ladles of hot cocoa...the man's fat. someone shoudl tell jabba goodman that running on dunkin only counts as exercise if you actually run, repeating the slogan doesn't help.

now, on to more important issues...the influx of maple syrup in all things breakfast. we, of course have known for many years that syrup makes things better. the bacon as a side of pancakes is better after sautaing (sp?) in syrup; the same is true of sausage. however, it was not until McDonald's itroduced the mcgriddle that we started seeing syrup incorporated into our breakfast sandwhiches. now, with DD's introduction of their new sandwhich and the pancakee/sausage on a stick sold by the daily show, i think the future of mapel syrup and my breakfast is quite bright

TREATMENT INFO

See the archives to the right...anytime you have any questions about when I am treating, where I will be, etc. you can just click on the TREATMENT INFO blahg and all your questions should be answered...of course, additional questions can be emailed to me. Visitors remain welcome, as do personal emails.

3/5 at 9 (treatment 4)
3/7 at 12:30 (treatment 4 cont'd)
3/26 and 3/28 at 11:30 (treatment 5)
4/16 and 4/18 at 11 (treatment 6)
5/7 at 11 (treatment last!)

location: 142 East 81st St. (b/w Lex and 3d)

june/july/august - party

A Shiny New World (Reprise)

It appears that the momentum from my hair shaving has reached itsapex. One of the world's coolest people has chosen to "go andy." That's right, it was revealed at the oscars last night that Jack is now bald. (and i'm not talking Palance - he was actually last seenmumbling to himself, "i can do a one armed push up...curly's gold!"). Nichalson/Kaye, Kaye/Nichalson, no matter how you say it, it just sounds right...also, because it's jack he will not be getting the"bitemaster award" recently bestowed upon poor britney. even if he has tripped over diane keaton the past few years (who, still looks pretty good for an old brawd) he's still jack.

as for me, i feel fine and nothing has changed....i am just writing because i want to.

also, i have come up with a new saying, bringing my total to 3. the new saying comes when faced with a situation that is for suckers and/or is passe...for example, if someone was to come up to you and say...hey, wanna check out my new portable CD player...you'd say...a portable CD player is like a lollipop...it's for suckers [to properly use [insert sucker item here and then continue] is like alollipop..it's for suckers.

my older sayings inlcude and are limited to...when something does not fit someone at all you say..."yeah, it fits like OJ's glove"...use this at a party and you are gauranteed to be a hit.

my last saying is: "beat like a horse in a glue factory" - which came to me after reading animal farm and requires no further explination.

i hope you all had killer weekends. also, keep you eyes open for a new blog on the internet, i believe there may be one coming soon.

ack

A brave new world

My first post is for pratice. Please accept that things will get better.