Thursday, June 21, 2007

Erasing the Past


Wanna know who's pissed? I'll tell you; it's the guy who invented the No. 1 pencil. I recently had a conversation with him. The following is a copy of the transcript.

Me: So, why the No. 1 pencil?

Michael Scantron: When the idea first came to me I couldn't have been more excited. I had just come back from a graphite intensive backpacking trip and knew the opportunities were endless.

Me: Huh?

Scantron: Well, as everyone knows pencils contain graphite, not lead. The graphite we explored was really great. I mean it was eraseable, non-toxic and most importantly, not too dark. I thought to myself, the kids are really going to love this stuff, especially because it's not too dark. I mean, who wants a pencil that's too dark? no one, because it can't be erased properly! Nonetheless, when i pitched my program to the schools they told me they were going with the No. 2 pencil because it was darker and the scantron machines couldn't read the No. 1 pencil

Me: But you are the guy who invented the scantron machine right?

Scantron: Yeah, which doesn't make this any easier on me. I mean I purchased 2000 pounds of graphite. What the hell am i going to do with it?

And so it is in the incredibly ironic life of michael scantron.

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