Actually, Hardly Workin

actual photo taken 10/19/07

As some of you know, as some of you don’t and as some of you

don’t care, I have taken a new job…thank you, your warm

wishes of good luck are much appreciated.

One of the reasons I have taken a new job is that the place
at which I am currently employed is a sinking ship. This
means that I have VERY little to do at work. Indeed, at the
present time I have absolutely nothing to do. It’s not even
like I am writing this while work sits idle. No, there is
no work. Ergo (for you Rory), I have taken the time to write
this rather long winded and pointless essay.

Why? You ask, should I care about your current predicament.
I suppose you really shouldn’t. Then again, that’s not very
nice, you should care about me. I am not saying you must
worry over my every move, surely that would be too much, but
what is it to you if you just cared a little bit.

I digress; I’ve gotten off track from my initial reason for
writing this posting... Today, I received a memorandum
(notice, because I have so much time, I decided to write out
the entire word memorandum rather than the more colloquial
and universally accepted “memo”) from the human resources
manager (that is, the HR dep't) indicating that because there has been excessive use
of non-work related internet sites, use of the internet will
be restricted. This likely means that I will not be able to
check my fantasy sites 100 times per day.

I can’t help but think that my office, who is very mad at
me, is doing this to spite me. While it is true that I spend
70%-80% of my day on the internet, it is also true that I,
as you may already heard, have nothing to do. In any event,
there are now six lawyers in the office. I know for sure
that at least 3 of them will not be subject to this
restriction. This leaves me, the lawyer next to my office
who seems busy, but I am pretty sure that’s because she just
started and doesn’t get it yet, another lawyer who probably
doesn’t care much and Jon, the paralegal, who, as far as I
can tell, spends about as much time on the internet as I do.


Funny story about John, the other day I saw him opening up
an email with some photos of some pretty hot dudes in tighty
whities. I don’t know if he knows I know, everything
happened pretty quick. Of course I would never out him to
anyone, he’s a really nice guy and quite capable. Plus
really, it’s none of my business. I just think it’s funny.
Also, I don’t see him getting much cock, he’s really fat…and
not the kind of fat where you can joke and say look how fat
he is…rather, the kind of fat where it’s uncomfortable to
talk about weight, or joke about weight, etc. in front of
the guy. He definitely weighs over 300 pounds and is no
taller than 5’8.

What else? What else? Oh yeah…nah, I’m just kidding.
Really, I’m surprised you’ve read this long, though I did
warn you (Caveat emptor means buyer beware)*

*-previously published elsewhere and titled Caveat Emptor