Ice Cream Emptiness

would he be so happy if his scooper failed to push the ice cream into the cone?

You wanna know what really sticks me like a sharp pickle? (of course you do, that's why you've visited)...when the ice cream place doesn't push the ice cream into the cone, but instead leaves the single scoop on top. I'll telll you why this is wriong. First and foremost, when this happens one gets less ice cream. If I've gone out for ice cream obviously I am a fan of ice cream and getting only a single scoop is hardly sufficient to satisfy my craving. I understand that the board says "one scoop" so technically that is all I have asked for; however, for the past one hundred years ice cream parlors have been pushing ice cream into the cone, it's has become the norm and therefore i have a right to expect same...well, maybe it shouldn't be the norm, look how fat america is. wrong, ice cream is not the cause of america's obesity, it's high fructose corn syrup and i've never seen a corn flavored ice cream.

Why else is not pushing the ice cream scoop into the cone wrong? I'm glad you asked....it is also wrong because it makes it significantly more difficult to eat and possible loss of ice cream can happen at any time. What i mean by this is as follows. Ice cream is like water, the molecules stick together. So, if one was to push hard on the top portion of the cone, the ice cream "scoop" would be safe. However, if there is nothing in the cone to which the scoop has attached itself, then an accidental push might cause the entire scoop to fall crashing to the floor. this can also occur if the ice cream is held at a 45 degree angle or greater. In this reagrd, you now have two prolmes. one, you have lost your ice cream and two you have sadness. this of course could have been avoided by simply pushing the ice cream into the cone first.

Lastly, and perhaps the most important reason the scoop on top is just plain wrong...it reaks havoc on the best part of the ice cream cone, the bottom.

25c a glass

And that is that. I have been released from the hospital for the very last time!! My treatment went well and i am home in my apartment feelin OK. I have scheduled tests toward the end of June to confirm all is well. In the interim, i will be rehabilitating and gaining the strength necessary to return to normal activities...i.e., drinking.

Throughout this ordeal people have offered me some good advice...hang in there; keep your head up; stay strong. thanks. however, there is one piece of advice i simply cannot agree with...when god gives you lemons, make lemonade. i must say that if god gives me lemons, there is no way that i am going to make lemonade with those lemons. those be some valuable lemons. i mean, god has stretched out his/her/its hand to give me lemons and you want me to waste those lemons and make lemonade? i suppose that would be some delicious lemonade...still, i think its better to leave the lemons as god gave them to me.

anyway, as stated, assuming all goes well, the party on Saturday August 4, 2007 remains the day to which we all look forward. I am planning on making this a big bash and need your help in bringing this to fruition. First, you should come. if you are on this list, i want you there. that's all i am going to say about that.

second. if you have a friend you think will add to the festivities, bring that person.

third...got kids, don't be afraid to bring them, just be prepared to watch the. also, they are automatic captains for the whiffle ball game(s).

fourth...let me know if you will be there...i need to know if you are coming since i need to buy food, etc. THIS is very important.

fifth...unlike previous parties, a recommended donation will be requested...i suspect about 10-20 a head (includes all food and booze)...kids eat free.

hope to see you soon.

much love for all the love

Base Camp

To be honset, the reason i have not written in so long is because i have nothing funny left. sure i am still funny, but i simply have nothing left. i mean, do you really want to hear of my love of cheese? i suppose however you never really needed to know of a lot of the things that have been expressed on the "andy's got cancer and i care how he's doing, but i really look forward to his non-sensical rant much more" email.

anyway, my running out of things to say could not have come at a better time as i go into the hospital for the final time this weekend. hell's yeah!! that's right, my last treatment begins on saturday and ends on monday. while i do not know for sure if it is the same as last time i will be located on th 12th floor of sloan (enter through the 1275 york ave b/w 67/8 entrance - M elevators)....on saturday i may be somewhere else for part of the day (just call before you come).

from here, a couple more tests, a few weeks of rehab and i am back in the saddle.

ALSO, and this is very important, the PARTY celebrating me being cured/not being dead will be on Saturday August 4, 2007. It will be at my parents house in connecticut and will include a pool, a keg, activities and you and your loved ones. anyone and everyone is invited. i will remind you of this later in the summer, but mark your calendars now.

IV Dreams

It's not easy to fall asleep in a hospital bed, especially when they are poking and prodding every few hours or so. for the record, my tempature is 36.6 C, my oxygen level is 96%, my blood pressure is about 120/70 and my pulse is somewhere around 75. despite these encouraging vitals, i was unable to fall asleep on saturday night. i tried the tv...no luck...some cards...nope...a little reading...as if. with no where else to turn i started counting sheep. after just a couple of minutes i was no longer counting sheep. was i sleeping? no...i was imagining the guys from jackarse (spelling edited for filters) dressed up in cow outfits jumping over fences with hillarious results!! while this did little to make me rest, it did put a smile on my face.

speaking of smiling...ONE treatment to go (as always, assuming all goes to plan). in two weeks i should enter the hospital for the last time!!!

as for now, the treatment takes a lot out of me, but i am able to do basic chores and care for myself...as a result i am in the city in my apartment.

while there is still some medicine to be completed before we bid this ordeal farewell, a long overdue shoutout goes to rachel, who has been incredible for me through this enitre process and has helped me keep my spirits and sanity...even sleeping by my side while in the hospital. thanks!

to the rest of you, who visit, call, write, email, take me out to lunch,etc. your support has been nothing less than necessary.

271 is not 227?

ahh, if only we all lived in a world with cool thin moustached handymen

8 million people in an area the size of a large farm is going to cause for some unwanted consternation among its residents. Undoubtedly, if you've had an apartment in NYC you've had a neighbor who in a pain in the arse. Even I, a friend to all, has had my run in with neighbors. However, never have i encoutered such a lengthy feud as the one that has been ongoing with my dowstairs neigbor. Affectionately known as "no sex" my neighbor has constantly complained since i moved in 3 years ago. First it was noise, and to be honset, there were some late loud nights. Once the nosie problem was solved (I lowered my radio) she turned complaint to smell. The accusation, her apartment smelled like cigarettes. In this regard, i listened to and then ignored her complaints. I mean what was i supposed to do? change my life for her. not likely. However, this morning i was awoken by a phone call from my super nice landlord. The complaint, cigarette smell. He wants to send his handyman to my apratment to close open spaces to prevent the smell from seeping through. Of course, the problem with this is that i don't smoke and have not gone near a cigarette in some time. Oh Joy!!! I have writtten this letter to my soon to be devastated neighbor.

"Dear Neighbor - Please leave me alone. I have not smoked a cigarette since November 2006. Ergo, I ask that you turn your mania toward the source of your discontent. Regards, Apt. 5"

There were much longer and sarcastic versions, but i figured i'd go with the short one since y'all have been required to read a book.

OK, on to my physical well being: The good news is that i went to my doctor yesterday and he said everything looked good. also, i finally feel pretty good coming off the last treatment. the bad news is that i am back in the hospital this weekend to recieve another round of treatment. on friday is rituxin and is an outpatient thing. saturday, i am back in for ice and should be released on monday. the same as last time. the good news from this is that after this only one more treatment and i am done. my doctor indicated that by mid-june, after a little time to recover, i should be 100%. once again, please feel free to visit. i will not know any details until friday after 4 and i will provide them then.

as for "ice", no it is not crack, though that would be cool. it's an acronym for the cocktail of drugs they use.

thanks for all the support

Where You Been?

I wonder if certain jobs are filled by people predisposed to being nice. I believe they are. For example, kindegarten teachers would fit into this category. In this regard, I think that deli meat slicers are generally good people. More often than not they will let you try a slice, give you an extra few ounces and generally have a good disposition. I also happen to like NYC bus drivers. On more than a few occassions i have ridden the bus despite having an invalid metro card. By making these statements i do not mean to say all, because nothing is ever 100%, except of course, 100%.

I know it's been a while, but that's all i got for now.