Hasta Luego

I am off to Puerto Rico...

enjoy whatwouldclydedo.com (it's not that funny...but it is informative).

Freudian Sleep

get out of my dreams, you terrorist bastard

We all have wierd dreams, most of the time we do not remember them. Today, however, you are in luck...

I don't remember everything but I do know that Magic Johnson and Saddam Hussein have teamed up and want to kill me. They chased me but I was able to escape...barely.

This dream is similar to one a few weeks ago where, with the help of Natalie Portman, I was able to escape the Nazis...Thanks Natalie.

Though I think even Freud would be confused by the relevance of the dreams, I think it's prettyfair to say that we now know for sure that Magic Johnson is a terrorist. Damn you Magic!!

I Bought my Puma's in Williamsburg

not quite a true hipster...yet

As you may recall from a previous post we here at jazzblahg are always trying to expand the American lexicon. Indeed, in the most recent publication of the OED one will find the word "ellios" defined as a verb meaning "to burn the top of one's mouth" That definition was of course created here at jazzblahg. Well, my friends, on this soggy Friday we are introducing a new definition for hipster. from hence forth hipster will mean..."An artist with a full-time job"

That's it...have a great weekend.

The Less We Use, The More We Save #2

I don't mean to brag, but I am the guy Justin conferred with before he decided to bring sexy back.

Extra! Extra!

i actually own this jacket

Today is a big day in the world of Jazzblahg! Indeed, we are introducing our first recurring theme and we could not be more excited about it! The title of the series is : "The Less We Use, The More We Save"...While the first of the series will appear to have something to do with conservation, the title is nothing more than Jazzblahg's attempt to gain readership by playing on the sensitivities of the ever increasing green movement. Indeed, jazzblahg hopes you print this post out on extra thick styrofoam paper.

I digress...The series will consist of one liners or odd sentiments either created or overheard by your resident raconteur and as you can see, the new series promises to be a great success. A recent write up in "bloggers," a bi-annual magazine published online, described 'The Less We Use...' as "patently mediocre" and Clive Barker declared it, "humorous to no one and likely to be hated by most" So you can understand our excitement.

Anyway, you have waited long enough:

The Less We Use, The More We Save: vol. 1, issue 1:

This is an actual quote overheard by jazzblahg: "You should get off the phone now, it's lightening outside"

This is Your Brain on...Grilled Chicken?

eggs and a grill, perfect mates

I was at a local coffee shop the other day, around noon time, when I asked for an egg and cheese sandwich (I am on a diet and hence the lack of bacon). Unfortunately, the horrible but polite woman behind the counter advised me, "we're doing lunch now, no more egg sandwiches." WHAAA? Are you to tell me your grill will not cook egg sandwiches post noon. Does it have an aversion to such a task? I doubt it, it's an inatimate object! And surely I can see no reason the chef would have a problem with it. If the grill is on, it would seem to me that you, being a coffee shop, should be willing to sell me breakfast at noon time. It's not like I was at McDonalds where everyone knows breakfast is not served after 10:30. The McDonald's policy makes sense though because microwaves, unlike grills, can't cook eggs after 10:30. Anyway, I am outraged and I will get my team of investigators on this.

Anonymous

i'm luca bitch

Hello friends. Once again it has been too long since we last spoke. I am happy to report that things are going well in my world. I feel good and I look great!! My hair is growing back and i think i am back under 200 pounds. you wouldn't think i could ever get so fat, but i did. maybe it was the recommended super premium ice cream. maybe it was the cheese on top of everything. maybe it's not important why it happened, it just did...i plan on gaining it all back at the BBQ.

Here are the details. SATURDAY AUGUST 4, 2007

1. if you have not RSVP'd i am assume you are not coming. if you RSVP'd and then moved to california, i assume you are not coming

2. You may arrive at any time after 1:00 p.m....Generally on the weekend trains leave from Grand Central to Westport along the New Haven line on the :07's...12:07, 1:07, etc. From the train station hop a cab...there are tons of them. I live at One Cartbridge Road, Weston, CT. 06883. If you need driving directions...yahoo.com or mapquest.com or google.com should do the trick. I expect most people to arrive between 2-3 but i will be ready at 1 and you are welcome.

3. The party itself will include a pool, pool activities, a large lawn, large lawn activities, fishing (maybe) and food and drink...I will be getting a keg or two, some booze and there will be some non-alcoholic refreshments as well. food will include meat, vegetables baisted in meat, non-meat products rubbed down in meat juice and fruit. (seriously though i will have a few vegeterian options for those of you who have chosen to live a deprived life)

4. Since there will be booze and since drinking and driving is something our parents did, we're having a SLUMBER PARTY. in this regard my house has only three bed rooms. However, it does stand on 1.34 acres of flat lush land so...CAMP OUT... bring your tents. (mom, is this OK?)

i will respond generally once all the questions have come in and i have processed them.

Also (and notwithstanding the fact that mama seems to think i don't want any pictures) I would like to welcome into the world, Luca Sanhez Lehrman.

"heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race" - m. jackson

ack