Chase(ing) His Own Tail

As a final thought on this issue...I have read other's comments, re-watched the final episode with those comments in mind and I have come to a conclusion regarding the final Sopranos...Meadow Soprano cannot parallel park.

That's it, that's what the whole series was about. Think about it, in the first season she was about 16 and learning to drive. We watched her go off to school and then become a woman. Finally in the last episode we see her trying to parallel park a Lexus (a car that is supposed to parallel park itself) but she can't. It was all there the whole time.

Thank You, Come Again

India's top chef is actually making doughnuts.

If you are a recurrent reader of this blog you know that I know what's going on in the world of Dunkin Donuts. (Jabba the Goodman; Dunagrees are Neat). I am not exactly sure why I have such an obsession with the purveyor of adequate coffee and donuts, but I do. Nonetheless, as a connoisseur of this franchise, I have intimate knowledge of the inner working of the company and its employees. In this regard I have an answer to the age old question, "why do so many Indians (that's hindu/sihk indians, not native american indians) own/work at dunkin donuts." Well, after thousands of dollars of research and hundreds of hours spent in the lab, the scientific answer to this question is....are you ready...Indians love adequate coffee and donuts. That's it, pretty simple. Really, it seems like a waste of money and lab time. However, and this needs to be investigated further, it is also believed that Indians love to microwave eggs.

I Can't Hear You

I recently purchased a new set of headphones, my original Ipod pair (why do we call it a pair when it is only one?) predicatbly breaking after one year of use. Unfortunately i have been unable to open the package yet. The plastic packaging is so strong that no man can open said packaging without a scissor. The problem is that the scissor i purchased to open the headphone box is also in that super strong plastic packaging. I really can't figure out why they have to use plastic that has been reinforced by the Bessemer process. Whatever happened to the cardboard back packaging? (think he-man figure) that always seemed to work well. Further, what happens after you get the package open and then decide you want to return the product. you can't because you destroyed the packaging...I smell another scam, similar to the canned air. I am starting an investigative committee.

Also, i am pleased to say that i completely do not know what the cut to black was supposed to represent, though i read a recent quote by david chase that said, "it was all right there." therefore, i believe tony soprano is dead, which is why, for the first time ever, the credits lacked music.

Fade to Black

I generally hate to bring sense into this blog and i have never allowed another's thoughts to be published on this page; however, a member of my fantasy league posted a very informative "essay" on the Sopranos. It is filled with great information...

"Wasn't sure if you guys picked up on this but the guy at the bar wa sNikki Leotardo. (this is in the credits) The same actor played him in the first part of season 6 during a brief sit down concerning the future of Vito. He is the nephew of Phil. Phil's brother Nikki Senior was killed in 1976 in a car accident.Also, the trucker was the brother of the guy who was robbed by Christopher in Season 2. Remember the DVD players? The trucker had to identify the body. The boy scouts were in the train store where Bobby got shot, and the last crew to walk in (the blackguys) were the ones who tried to kill Tony and only clipped him in the ear (I think season 2)So there were three people in the restaurant who had reason to kill Tony and then it just ends. It's the situation Tony has created for himself. At any moment it could be family or an enemy walking threw the door. The hard cut to black was the end of Tony. In the beginning of the season when he was talking to Bobby about getting whacked he said, "They say, you never hear it coming, and then it all goes black." And that's exactly what happened. But who did it?"Meadow was spared also, and I guess we are supposed to be happy about that, because she would have been sitting between the shooter and tonyIN retrospect, very well done.

You Choo Choo Choose Me

The thing about promoting your blog (and thanks to those of you who joined in) is that you really should have something ready the next day to publish. Due to the nature of this blog (inanity, a perfectly cromulent word) it is hard to come up with ideas all the time. Ergo, some posts will be better than others

That being said, today's topic is "the train's dispatcher", a wo/man i am not very fond of. We all know the train's dispatcher from our trips on the subway..."we apologize for the inconvenience, but we are being held momentarily by the train's dispatcher" And that is precisely the reason i don't like the dispatcher, s/he's always holding me up. Never once have i heard, "we'll be arriving ahead of schedule thanks to the train's dispatcher". Not even a "was it not for the train's dispatcher we'da been even later" No, simply holding me up all the time.

Now, some of you may say, if the dispatcher failed to hold you up, you'd crash. fooey to that argument; like my dad says, "if the queen had balls, she'd be king" Exactly!!

Finally, a quick prediction, the Cavs will be lucky to win a game.

Tired Sac of Shit

For Yankee fans it has not been a very good season. Damon is playing hurt (hopefully), Bobby Abreu is afraid to run into his own shadow and Mike Mussina is no longer the .500 pitcher he once was. However, over this weekend everything changed. No, it was not the 2 of 3 from the red sox they so desperately needed. Rather, it was the hilarious injury to Roger Clemens that has put the whole thing into perspective. Indeed, Roger Clemens, the 25 million dollar man afraid to pitch against his former team was sidelined due to a fatigued right groin.

First off, has anyone heard of this injury before...(it's rhetorical, of course not). Second, how did he get this injury? We could of course give him the benefit of the doubt, but i'd like to think he tired it out during his rigorous railroad session in west Hollywood. Lastly, why is ESPN running NFL live 5 days a week during the off season.

and remember, if you're not keepin it real, you're just not keepin it.

Air Head

This guy purchased canned air.

You know who is a smart guy? The guy who decided to market air in a can. As far as I know, air is free. However, once in can form it is as expensive as lox or a large container of fresh squeezed orange juice. (both more delicious than air in a can)

Today, in an attempt to clean my air conditioner (cleaner, but not any quieter), i purchased said canned air. Now, i know I live in NYC and things cost more here than they should. However, $8.49 plus tax for air is simply ridiculous. I mean it's just canned pressure. Haven't they been selling products in cans with air pressure for a hundred years at a fraction of the price? and don't those cans come with something in them. there is clearly some sort of conspiracy here and i am not happy about it.

anyway, i am going to sit back and relax in my noisy, but cool, apartment.